Alysa Montague left her apartment for an evening stroll through the city, glancing up above her only momentarily at the darkened sky. The moon was like a blade over her head. It was sharp and deadly, cutting into her very core.

Each night made a new promise to Alysa, one of an inescapable urge of hunger, pain and regret, but Alysa kept her strength in that so far, she had kept her inner turmoil a secret from the world. She had to hide her true face from the world, because whoever understood her could hurt her. The man who sired her and claimed her as her own had imparted this as his first lesson.

Alysa began scanning the street for possible dinner prospects that evening. She craved the company as well, if only for a little while.
A few hours perhaps, or a few days at most, but keeping anyone near her for too long was simply something she could not fathom doing.

It was while in the midst of this search for blood that the flashbacks came to her. Like a bolt of lightening, images flashed in
her mind, assaulting her senses as an onslaught, as if the memory were happening to her in that very moment

Alysa could smell the long gone pine trees, and could see the falling leaves of yesterday as she was transported back into a moment which she would rather forget, and as it happened on many occasions to Alysa, this night she went back to the moment she was sired, relieving the pain of it.



****Flashback*****

Alysa had been strolling that night too, peering at the clouds hanging in the sky partially obscuring the beauty of the moon in all
its splendor. She was walking through the park where she meant to meet with a man who was courting her in secret. The object of her
obsession was bent over the figure of a woman in the park, appearing in a passionate embrace with her. Alysa's first reaction was one of anger at the perceived betrayl.

"Bastard....how could you....after what I gave you...after what we shared.....how could you do this to me.......did I mean so very
little to you?" Alysa looked down at the man she had fallen desperately for. He had shattered her heart into a million pieces
and he didn't even have a reply. "Are you even going to answer me? Or are you just going to continue this as I watch?"

Alysa felt the tears stinging her eyes. She nearly walked away and turned her back on him forever. If she had just walked away, perhaps
her life would not have gone down the course it had. But fate was woven in her decision to stay, her inability to look away from him.

He turned in her direction, and Alysa could see the blood running down his mouth. The woman he had been straddling in that darkned
alleyway had vacant terrified eyes, a torn out throat and was deathy still, and the realization of how very very wrong this was came to
Alysa, but it was already to late.

They ceased to be mere lovers in that moment as he turned into predator, and she prey. The vampire, for there was no denying that
was what he was now as he looked at her, began chasing her down. He overcame her easily.

Her transformation from prey to predator was a bit more blurred. She barely recalled those moments. Only the next thing which came. Waking with hunger. Waking alone.

She couldn't reconstruct the moments that happened next with perfect clarity, until suddenly she held a man in her arms, his throat ripped out as that woman in the alleyway where she was turned had been. Alysa had killed him. She had killed him and she had enjoyed ever minute of it.

*******End Flashback*******



Alysa continued strolling. Many came and went, smiled at her, but she did not move to seduce them, as she was waiting to ground herself again in the here and now.

Alysa saw a young man who's gaze lingered on her a bit too long. Dark hair and eyes, and an innocent boyish appearance like her sire's. It was when he approached her that she knew she had to take him home with her.

"Hey beautiful, what are you doing outside of my dreams?" He said.

It was a cheesy rote pick up line. It was absolutely perfect. She didn't like the man who actually tried to show her respect. Who
seemed to want more than simple gratification. She certainly didn't want someone who was going to turn the tables and try and seduce
her. 'Never love me...' She thought to herself. 'Dont get to close. Just a night or two and then....'

"How I fell from them I am not exactly sure...." Alysa said as she moved closer to him with a coy smile that melted away like an
unexpressed chuckle. "But, I'd love to renter them. Your darkest wildest deepest fantasies......would you like that?"

The man stared somewhat dumbly. It made him seem more delicious.

"My car is not far from here...." Alysa said to the man. She began luring him away, towards where she had parked near the alleyway. Even though she loved to walk, she also liked to have a car nearby, somewhere, whenever possible.

He slipped inside the car with her, and Alysa leaned towards him, brushing her lips against his, moving from their to his neck.

She almost seemed to beg him. Even though she knew he could not hear. 'Dont love me...'

Alysa Montague piled together her few purchases from the mall, fingering over the fabric. She did not need more clothes of course,
but shopping was also a habit she got into when there was something particularly on her mind or bothering her which she did not really
want to deal with or face.

"$527.99 cents please maa'm" The cashier taking care of her order said.
"I wish I had that kind of cash just laying around to spend. I could barely pay my bills this month."

Alysa looked at the young woman, heavily pregant, grumpy, and ready to pop at any moment. She handed her five hundred
dollars. "Here...take it...."

"I cant...I....." The woman began to protest as she tried to give her the money. She was teary-eyed as she looked to Alysa.

"Take it....you need it more than I do....your pregnant..." Alysa said.

Alysa grabbed her bags after the woman pocketed the money, and before she could protest, or try and return the money, or make a scene embarassing her drawing attention to herself, Alysa left the store.

She began to head for her vehicle, where she put her purchases inside.

"No matter how many handbags and shoes I buy it never ever makes it any better." Alysa said.

She looked at that mortal, wishing she had had an opprotunity for the things she had. A family, to be pregnant, to carry a child
in her womb, bring life into the world. Alysa however would never ever know what it was like to be a mother. She hated the one who
made her a vampire for this.

Alysa slipped inside her car, pulling out the new amethyst necklace, slipping it around her neck, deciding she wanted to wear it
tonight. She had always liked new jewelry, and in some ways, it helped to sometimes focus her and lift her spirits somewhat.

She started the car and found it wanted to stall again. She was going to have to jumpstart it.

Alysa got out with a sigh. She knew how to do it herself and did not need a man to accomplish it for her. She pulled out the jumper
cables and once the vehicle was running again she moved back towards her car and slipped into the drivers seat.